“Hey kiddo… you did it.”
I’ve seen so many beautiful photos of the Sacred Creators Oracle, and some have winked at me, and many have made me gasp… some have been oozing with magic while others have moved me to tears… but none of them have hit me the way this one did. This one feels like a grand entrance with trumpets and an an angelic “AHHHHHHHHHHH!”
(Queue the high note as the skies open up and sunshine floods in. And maybe add some flapper girls doing the Charleston, just for kicks)
Seeing this product shot in my inbox this morning brought a rolling wave of gratitude.
It looks… so real.
It looks… like success.
It looks… like glamour and starlight.
And for the first time since I launched this spiritual business, I finally believe that it’s true.
For most of my life, I’ve had a strange relationship with the word success. I’m pretty hard on myself when it comes to my work, even though I know logically that I’m right where I am supposed to be. While I am really great at enjoying the journey, I can fail miserably at telling myself that I am successful. So this ‘success thing’ that I’m feeling through this photo is a pretty rare gem.
*Pause. Deep breath.*
Those are *my* cards in that photo. My creation… including six months of every ounce of creative juice I had at the time. And there they are, just sitting there at the cash register at Nordstrom.
(Eeeeeeeee! I’m doing my best to take a snapshot of this memory. )
And I am reminded that I am SO thankful for everything I have learned in the past few years leading up to this.
And for years of entrepreneurship that have come to fruition in ways I never imagined.
Along with gratitude I felt another vaguely familiar emotion this morning. So vague, in fact, that took a few moments for me to accurately place it. Was it happiness? Hmmm. Maybe… because I am sure that I’m happy. But that wasn’t the emotion that was niggling at me. Was it relief? Or hope? Not quite.
It felt more like winning the poetry contest in grade 3… or looking down at my brand new black patent shoes when I was about 4 years old.
And I realized (with some mixed emotions for not knowing it intimately) that the emotion was pride. For the first time since this deck was released, pride is showing up in a way that I can begin to receive it. Truly receive it.
When I was young I was taught that I needed to be humble. That people wouldn’t like me if I wasn’t humble, and that we must veer clear of becoming too proud. And sometimes this training can go too far, and become so deeply rooted that we can forget what it’s like to be proud of ourselves at all.
I mean pride… that’s negative right?
Today, I’m calling poppycock on that ridiculousness.
Pride has been so fleeting in my life that I am happy to draw up a guest room for it. I’m gonna woo it with a warm bed and court it with affection so that it knows that it can stick around for the long haul. Because being proud isn’t the opposite of being humble or modest – that’s what being pretentious is. And pushing pride away for years on end can allow things like shame and insecurity to creep up in its place, and that’s not at all how we want to feel.
So hello, personal recognition. Hello pride. Hello moment to remember that I have worked my ass of for this.
(And really, if I can’t enjoy this now… while I watch my deck being picked up one of the most exclusive department stores on the planet, when will that ever come?)
I am honestly so f*cking proud of this deck and how far this passion project has come.
It has become a full-fledged spiritual business with products and courses and I get to learn something new about myself and about the world, every single day.When I began this ‘crazy’ project… the very idea that business strategy and an oracle deck could go hand-in-hand was something that other people scoffed at. It was a ‘disjointed’ idea, and I can’t tell you how many deer-in-the-headlights stares I had to work past as I struggled to find the right words to explain my vision.
I had trouble putting it into words, but my heart knew where I wanted to go.
I had business coaches, clients, SEO consultants and colleagues all warn me against doing something that could potentially harm my branding business. Coming out as a tarot and oracle creator, a rune caster and an energy worker?
“You had better keep those ideas to yourself. Your clients won’t get it.”
“I don’t really get it.”
“Why would you want to do that?”
“What does tarot have to do with building a business?”
“Tarot scares me.”
And now. Ah. I need to take a DEEP PAUSE.
This is the moment. This is the TIME. Do you see it?
Have you noticed the world and the shift that’s happened since?
In the past 6 months there has a been an onslaught of business and magic in the world. Business planners with magical spaces, moon and ritual ideas with places for creative entrepreneurs… dream chasing and card-slinging are a thing.. and the product choices are blooming daily. It’s like a giant tidal wave of strategic magic that makes my heart sing – because it’s bolder and it’s braver than ever before… and it’s altogether unstoppable.
It’s also proof that this little dreamer over here wasn’t as out-in-left-field as it may have seemed. And that, it the source of this pride.
I’ve accomplished a lot of things in my life. I’ve competed nationally in snowboarding and been ranked second in the country. I’ve hitchhiked to Mexico and surfed with sea turtles. I’ve been in love in the Andes and taught University in a second language. I’ve been brave and I’ve been creative and I’ve taken risks. I’ve lived a lot of amazing memories. And of all the things I have done, having found the courage to stand up and to find the most honest expression of myself is the thing that I will hang my hat on for a very long time. It took a great deal of courage to work through that fear of being judged, and to stand up and say – I want to be seen.
Finding the course to do what my heart guided me to do was the thing that gives me the most joy on this journey. And the most happiness. And for sure it is THE THING that has given me the most pride.
And for that, I am grateful!
And so 2018… I’m ready!
I’m ready to try again. To envision again. To launch again. To play with uncertainty and jump into the abyss of the unknown.. again.
So bring on the big ideas. Bring on the badass to-do-lists. And let’s jump into the magic of life once more!
May you build your own spiritual business bravely and honestly, and find joy and inspiration along the way.
Big love creator souls,